Catherine, are you still blogging anymore?
A question I hear frequently, and am FINALLY getting around to answering!
It’s been quite obvious that I haven’t posted on my blog for the past few months, but I’ve definitely kept up with my social social media platforms. When I started my blog, it started out as a passion project. I loved creating healthy recipes and sharing them with the world. I didn’t expect my blog to become a full blown career, but it did and I absolutely loved it… for the most part.
My blog became more about just the recipes, it was then the ups and downs of my weight loss, weight gain, and even struggles with depression and body image issues. I’ve never held anything back and always tried to be transparent and real because I felt as if the blogosphere needed someone who didn’t just share all of the rainbows and gumdrops. Sometimes life isn’t perfect and we go through really crappy times and I wanted my blog to be an outlet for anyone going through something similar to be like “yassss, me tooooo! I’m not alone!”
I loved being able to write a post and say “yesterday, I went bridesmaid dress shopping and I had a complete meltdown. Why are the sizes so off? Are they trying to make us feel extra s#%*!y?” and just have someone else relate and understand. But fast forward 4 years and it’s not really like that anymore. There’s actual commenters who come here to write negative things about how I look, tell me that I’m fat, tell me that I’m ugly, tell me that I’m always looking for sympathy, and that no one should trust my recipes because I’m not a representation of what healthy is. It’s a bummer. I get so many amazing comments from readers who have been here since the very beginning who are so positive and uplifting, but wow… It’s amazing how negative comments outweigh the nice ones. Honestly, I got tired of waking up every morning to check comments only to read paragraphs about how I’ve gained weight and how awful I look. As if I didn’t already know I’ve gained weight or talk about it on my blog? I’ve talked about this very candidly. Some of my readers have also wondered why I have stopped posting on YouTube. Well, YouTube is a whole different animal. Every time I get an email from YouTube that I have a new comment on one of my videos, my heart races and Iactually start to panic and wonder what type of mean comment is going to be posted this time. It’s kind of disgusting the things that people say about my appearance. I’ve never been someone who deletes comments. If you’ve ever commented on my blog and said that you hated my recipe, I definitely approved your comment and responded asking what I could do to change it and make it better, but I’m at the point where I cannot handle the comments about me and my physical appearance. I’m a person on the other end of this computer screen. I’m not a team with a Manager, PR person, Community Manager, etc. It’s just me over here making recipes being a human being! Hi!
I’m not talking writing about this asking for anyone’s sympathy. I’m simply telling you why I have been absent on my blog. I just needed some time away from my blog to realize that I really do love blogging. I miss you guys so much! I miss my readers and your comments, I miss hearing about your progress on your own particular journeys, and I’m so excited to be back! Thank you for all of your patience, support, and kind words while I have been patiently away for a little bit! I just can’t get enough of you guys!
So a little update from while I was away:
- Unfortunately my beloved Corgi, Teddy passed away two weeks ago on November 7th. He was 14 years old and had terrible arthritis in back and hips. His back legs were completely paralyzed, so he dragged his back legs around to walk. We tried getting him wheels (literally the cutest thing you’ve ever seen) but he didn’t fully understand how to use them. After being on arthritis and pain medicine for over a year, we had to put my beautiful boy down. It was the absolute worst day, and so much harder than I had ever imagined.
- I did however get a new fur baby in August! An English Bulldog named, Potato. I knew that Teddy wasn’t doing well, so I thought it would be the right time to introduce a new fur family member to the household. He LOVED playing with Teddy, stealing all of his toys, and his fluffy bed! What a little pipsqueak! Having Potato has helped with the healing process of losing Teddy, and I feel very lucky to have him. Matt and I got Potato together, so he spends time at both houses depending on our schedule and if Matt is on tour or if I am at work.
- Matt and I celebrated our 1 year together.
- I turned 26 in August.
- I became the editor of Vans Girls. Instagram // Twitter // Blog
- I visited Tecate, Mexico, Chicago, IL, Jackson Hole, WY, Yuma, AZ, and Charlotte, NC.
- Matt and I won two costume contests on Halloween.
- I visited Matt on Warped Tour.
So nowwww I feel like it’s time to poll my readers. I’m literally back where I started on the weight loss journey. Sad to say, back at my heaviest weight. Although I don’t feel that I look it… I’m there. I’m thinking of getting back on the wagon 100% and going full force with this whole weight loss thing once again. But in a new way that I haven’t yet done on the blog. See, when I started my blog, I had already lost 80 pounds, and I basically used my blog to show everyone how I did it. I was posting meals that I would eat when I lost weight, and healthy meals that I was currently eating for maintenance as well. But now, I feel like I actually need the support of my bunnies to do this again! So what do you guys think? Do I take a starting point photo, post it, and then post my full day of Rabbit Food meals every day? It sounds scary, but maybe this is what I need to hold myself accountable, and maybe this is what some of you guys need to get back on track too? So many QUESTION MARKS!!!??? In the back of my mind I just know that this will open my blog up to even more criticism from mean people, but at the same time I just need to get over it because this is the internet and there’s just no way around it. And honestly, I really want to get back on track and feel better. And that’s what really matters!
Love you little bunnies and miss you so much!